Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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