brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
