And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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