The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
