Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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