He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize