I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
