Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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