is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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