Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize