so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
