jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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