think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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