Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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