this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
