i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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