I cannot find my penis.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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