So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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