we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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