There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
