Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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