sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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