you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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