what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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