Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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