It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
