I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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