Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I deserve this hangover.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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