Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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