You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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