Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
