apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
