the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
