wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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