dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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