This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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