There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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