is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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