I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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