also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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