i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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