Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
