I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
3pm strippers are depressing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
