I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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