My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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