Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
