I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
