I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Be still, my beating vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
