just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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