Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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