He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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