I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
