THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
