I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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