I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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