he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
