Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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