can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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