you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
