So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I AM VODKA MAN
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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