and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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